A WONDERFUL AND HYSTERICAL UNION

On February 17th Dan and I attended and helped film and take photos for a friend's wedding. Now we have attended quite a few weddings but this one really tops out. When Rebecca (the bride) arrives early and before most of the guests I was in shock. I mean that has never happened. She deserves a medal or at least a ribbon. Yet, like most guests I was wide-eyed at her beauty. I mean she's hot stuff normally, but she was glowing with her bright red hair, fair freckeled cheeks, and flowing ivory gown. She looked really amazing. And of course the bridesmaids in their burgandy gowns and fancy updos. I thought, wow this is going to be a very nice wedding. So Dan and I walk into the church..Iglesia Latina Emanual .......and um......there are no pews. nope, just office chairs. you know the kind with the metal frame and canvas seats. Hm...that's different, but hey not every church can afford the luxury of pews. Well, guests begin to arrive and take their seats. Being that the Groom is hispanic, his side of the church was overflowing, and the Bride's side only had a few guests. I felt bad that we were not seated on her side due to our filming priorities. Dan and I are up at the front so he can get great up-close footage. side note- he smacked his gum throughout the entire ceremony and therefore will the film will be overshadowed with loud chew sounds instead of wedding sounds. I kept giving him the "death look" but he seems to be immune to it. And so the music begins........controlled by a 10 year old kid. Bum bum bum, bumbumbum..........blah blah blah. And here comes the bridesmaids, bum bum........bum........er.......silence. I am not sure what happened but suddenly the music just stops! Yes, poor Melissa and Michael had to walk the aisle with no music. You could see the horror in Melisssa's eyes. Hey, no worries, shit happens right? No wedding is perfect. Well, that's an understatement. So in comes the bride, glowing, happy and attended by "Coach" the happy F.O.B. (Father of the Bride). The music begins again. It may not have been the correct song, but then the kid skipped ahead and things were right once more. During the ceremony there was a Padre and his english interpreter. Line by Line. my God. Let's see, he talk about Love, Divorce, union under God, Divorce, Death, Divorce......did u know 68% percent of marriage ends in divorce? I didn't until the Padre told us. Yes, I think he was trying to tell us something.....Divorce is BAD and you will go to HELL if you do it. I am thinking....WTF? but hey, when you marry a mexican, it's for life. You may not go to HELL but the older brothers will try to send you there. The interpreter was helping trouble, well, interpreting. So peeps had to do shout outs for him. Once he said Rebecca had to "submit to her husband and cook for him". LOL. what? Later during the vows he said to Rebecca, " Rebecca, repeat after me. I Rebecca, take you Jose, to be my wife........" Becca looks at him like WHAT? everyone laughs..."I mean husband!" Keep in mind this is all in a Mexican accent which made it ten times funnier. Now after the unity candle tradition---which for those of you you who do not know what this is -the couple lights a candle together to symbolize them becoming one--- the Padre stands on the stage for a another mexican tradition the lasso. SO the Padre backs up...backs up, hey Padre! watch out for that flame!! and he walks into fire.LOL, right into the candle, but uckily the groomsmen save him in time, otherwise there would have been carne asada padre on the menu. Yes, the man ALMOST caught flame. At the end of the show...oops i mean ceremony, the newly married Jose and Rebecca turn to the guests for the big departure. waiting, waiting...no music. Wait, suddenly the kid realizes..thats your cue man, and he skips through about 3 songs till he hit the correct one. BUM BUM BUMBUM, BUM BUM BUMBUM. And with love in their eyes and smiles from ear to ear the B and G are off to face to world. Yes, this has to be the BEST wedding I have ever been to.